November 16, 2023: Chapter 1 of our Adoption Story
A year ago today I received a call that would change my life forever, but our story doesn’t start there. It actually starts three days earlier when I received an e-mail from the adoption agency about match #2315. A “maybe baby,” as I called all the potential e-mails. This was an infant, gender unknown, arriving any day, and sparse details thereafter. Are you interested?
In my intake paperwork, I said I’d likely say “no” to this type of situation, but I felt so weirdly connected to this one. I was knee-deep in depression. Was I even ready for a baby? I had nothing prepared. I must have reread that e-mail with a pondering heart 1,500 times. Finally, right before the deadline, me, along with other waiting families, submitted my “yes.”
I knew birth mom would look at albums on Wednesday evening. I was on planned vacation Thursday and Friday. I went to therapy at 11am Thursday and mentioned it all to my therapist, assuming the answer was “not this time,” since I hadn’t received a call yet in such a time sensitive case. I told him I really had my hopes up this time, but maybe it was best I wasn’t selected. He reminded me that we really didn’t know if I was selected or not, but we explored my odd feelings some more. Later, I went home and started washing my cabinets. I was at peace, but completely convinced this maybe baby wasn’t mine.
About 3:30 that day, I loaded up the vehicle with recyclables and headed to the recycle center before I picked up Annora. My phone rang. My office was calling. Specifically, Robyn. She said, “Hey, I know you’re on vacation but I just got a call from your social worker and she said they’re trying to reach you regarding an important matter.” I knew in that instant I was having a baby! I started shaking. I called the lady back (do not ask why they called my office and not my cell! I don’t know!) and asked for the wrong lady. Embarrassing. She asked if I was sitting down. She told me the birth mom looked at my album and chose me! I was having a baby!! I immediately started crying. The only thing I could say was, “Oh my god!”
I finished my call with her, having directly and absent-mindedly missed the recycle center. I found a parking lot and pulled over. I called Brenda, Malayla, my therapist, and then my mom. I picked up Nora from school. I had already decided I wouldn’t tell her until we discharged from the hospital, but she doesn’t miss ANYTHING. She asked, “Mom, are you crying happy tears since you are smiling?” I spit out my secret so fast it made all our heads spin! “We are having a baby!”
She wasn’t the only person I spilled my guts to that I hadn’t intended on telling. I had months to think about it. You never announce before discharge. Things could change. Keep your circle small. Blah, blah, blah. I think I must have called my ENTIRE circle because I could not keep my mouth shut.
Match #2315- maybe baby- was on the way!
