Singularity isn’t a Disease
To all my single friends,
Singleness isn't a disease, though most of the world is eager to diagnose you if you still remain in this uncanny state by the ripe old age of twenty-two-and-a-half. It's okay to be single. You're not "doing it all wrong." In fact, I think you're pretty awesome. Breathe that in, for a moment, my fellow social misfit.
Maybe you appreciate the awkwardness that is singularity. Maybe you'd rather have the Arabian bird flu than spend another minute in solitude; or, maybe you fall somewhere in the middle. It doesn't really matter what category with which you identify, because I think the following supersedes labeling issues:
Soak in this season of life. Use your undivided time to adventure and explore the world and discover your passions. Learn to see and love people well - celebrate their birthdays, surprise them with a latte, or just sit up and talk into the early hours of the morning, simply because you don't have to rush home. Enroll in class, just for the thrill of trying something new. Visit your grandparents if they're still around, or adopt a grandparent if they're not. Volunteer. Read good books. Read crappy books. Read the book and then watch the movie, just for the critique. Like it, love it, or desperately trying to lose it, this chapter of life can't be rewritten later, so leave no stone unturned. Don't run to the altar with a long series of things you wish you'd marked off the bucket list, or without even knowing who you really are.
Romance yourself. No, seriously. As you practice loving others well, do the same for the person in the mirror. Failing to do so makes you vulnerable to the first charming guy or gal that looks in your general direction. I used to buy myself flowers. Now that my grandfather lives in Joplin, he brings me a fresh bouquet each week, and it's the best. So, instead of the self-bought bouquet these days, I'm indulging in self-bought pedicures, and it's also pretty stinking lovely. Knowing what makes your face happy and caring for your own heart is strategically important to developing a healthy and lasting romance later. It's all about loving well.
Appreciate the relationships of others. Don't fall over with envy every time you see a cute couple walking down the street, but instead invest in them. Learn their secrets of success, and learn from the frailty of their failures. Cook dinner for them. Offer to watch their kids (or their dog) while they get away for an evening. Acknowledge the awesomeness of their togetherness, and then let hope flourish in your soul.
Finally, spend time doing the things that will make you a better half, and skip the things that won't. This list is far too encompassing to try to sort out here, but think of all the things you want from a companion, and then shift your gaze inward. Commit to being the best version of you, not because it's good marketing, but because it's the gift that will keep on giving far into your future. You are worth the investment.
So here's to you, you untied individual. Engage the life you have now and be merry.
